The Asylum Summer Cookout

[Realticule]

Well it's summer, and America month. We had a couple of posters take their attempts at Koolaid Pickles in the Culinary Catastrophe section in the past, so why not take it to a new and fun level?

Submit your most depraved dishes involving Watermelon, Corn, Burgers, or Hotdogs. Also, if you come up with some new and horrific way to use Koolaid to pickle or cook something, do share it.

Submissions will close August 9th and you'll something, even if it's nothing more than a pat on the back but maybe more if something can be arranged before then. @Richard 'Lowtax' Kyanka might be pressured into a forum trophy or title given that he's made to regret his life choices enough.

 

[Fucking YTs]

• 4 Kool-Aid pickles (any flavor)
• 4 hotdog buns
• 4 cooked hotdogs
• 4 hamburger buns
• 4 cooked hamburger patties
• 4 ears of corn
• 1 small watermelon
• 1 Decompression chamber

Instructions:

1. Prepare the ingredients by cooking the hotdogs, hamburgers, and corn according to your preferred method. Set aside.
2. Hollow out the Kool-Aid pickles by carefully removing the centers, creating cavities.
3. Insert one cooked hotdog into each hollowed-out Kool-Aid pickle. Ensure a snug fit.
4. Hollow out the Kool-Aid pickle slices intended for the hamburgers, creating additional cavities.
5. Place one cooked hamburger patty inside each hollowed-out Kool-Aid pickle slice, ensuring it fits properly.
6. Grill or boil the ears of corn until tender. Once cooked, remove the kernels from the cob using a sharp knife.
7. Cut the watermelon into small, bite-sized cubes or use a melon baller to create watermelon balls.
8. Assemble the dish by placing the Kool-Aid pickle-infused hotdogs and Kool-Aid pickle-topped hamburgers on a serving platter.
9. Sprinkle the corn kernels and watermelon pieces around the hotdogs and hamburgers, creating a nice spread.
10. Set the food, yourself, and guests inside a decompression chamber.
11. Just before serving, a sudden and intense pressure change happens, causing rapid decompression. The result is instantaneous death for everyone in attendance due to severe internal organ damage caused by the rapid change in air pressure, as well as ruining all the delicious food prepared.

 

[Topo Chico]

You get a freezer pizza of your choice. Then you get a can of beans of your choice. I prefer a can of seasoned pinto beans, but you can be a bit posh and go for a can of Heinz baked beans. You cook the freezer pizza, then you spoon the heated beans on top of each slice indvidually as you eat to maintain a good ratio. Enjoy!
This bean pizza is actually made as a single item commercially, but I believe is only available in the UK made by Heinz.

That's a pretty simply recipe, so here's another of my favorites:
Make mashed potatoes in any way you wish (I prefer a slightly rustic well buttered variety for my mash), make some bacon (thick and crispy), get some seeded whole wheat bread (the good shit) and jelly of your choosing (grape works well). Make a sandwich where the layers look as described: toasted bread -> jelly (lots) -> bacon (two slices broken in halves) -> mash (4~ big spoon scoops worth) -> bacon (two slices broken in halves) -> toasted bread. This sandwich is best enjoyed drunk.

Not strictly following the requirement of having "Watermelon, Corn, Burgers, or Hotdogs," but it's easily adaptable. I just really like the above recipes. To make them compliant, just add corn to the pizza like you're a Brazilian and/or add some mini-wieners to the pizza while you bake. Corn is actually a great pizza toping. For the sandwich throw some diced up hotdogs into the mashed potatoes.

 

[CalciumAnimal]

An actually good snack for when you don't feel like whole assing it.


A packet of salted soup crackers
Hot Dogs Cut into slices (2-3 slices per cracker)


That's basically it cook the hot dogs shove em on the cracker. however.

Cheese Pickles and Hot Sauce turn it from a really lazy snack to something decent to munch on.

Grate cheese on top (Mozza+one yellow cheese seems to work best) heat then add a dollop of hotsauce and a pickle slice to each (kool aide optional)

 

[Nenélove]

Hello everyone, today I will teach you how to use watermelon in a creative and fun way!

---

For this recipe you will need:

• A watermelon
• A shovel
• A sharp knife
• Some sticks and leaves

First grab your melon and cut into slices, you will only need one or two slices so feel free to eat the rest as is.
Then use your shovel to dig a 5-foot wide, 10-foot tall hole in the ground, make sure the sides are as vertical as possible.
Use your sticks to build a grid pattern that holds itself over the hole, then cover it with the leaves so that the hole is not visible and blends in with the environment.
Finally, place your melon on top of the trap and hide nearby. If you did it correctly, a nigga will walk by and try to eat the melon and get caught in the trap.
Now none of your packages will be stolen and you have reduced gang violence in your area! Well done.

 

[Realticule]

I present my first submission to the cookout, but be warned, what you are about to see can not be unseen.

Spoiler: You Were Warned

Final chance to turn back.

Spoiler: You Are Not Prepared!

Behold! Meatkin! Not to be confused with meat Pippa:


Disclaimer: This is for artistic and comedic purposes only and Pippa if you see this, I'm sorry I did it for the memes. For the memes!

 

[Nenélove]

I present my first submission to the cookout, but be warned, what you are about to see can not be unseen.

Spoiler: You Were Warned

Final chance to turn back.

Spoiler: You Are Not Prepared!

Behold! Meatkin! Not to be confused with meat Pippa:
View attachment 35721

Disclaimer: This is for artistic and comedic purposes only and Pippa if you see this, I'm sorry I did it for the memes. For the memes!

Nice use of cabbage

 

[Realticule]

Nice use of cabbage

Had to do something with the out leaves I was going to toss.

 

[Just pretending]

I present my first submission to the cookout, but be warned, what you are about to see can not be unseen.

Spoiler: You Were Warned

Final chance to turn back.

Spoiler: You Are Not Prepared!

Behold! Meatkin! Not to be confused with meat Pippa:
View attachment 35721

Disclaimer: This is for artistic and comedic purposes only and Pippa if you see this, I'm sorry I did it for the memes. For the memes!

I should've stayed at the Farms.

 

[Peyton Turkanis]

Kirsche's Sinner Sandwich

Ingredients:

• 2 slices firm sandwich bread (brioche)
• 4 slices spicy turky (Black pepper)
• ~2 tbs Strawberry jam
• ~2 tbs Cereal (rice krispie or corn flakes)
• Butter

Method:

1. Butter both slices of bread
2. Spread Strawberry jam on one slice (use extra if needed to get a good layer)
3. Press the cereal into the jam (don't go too light on the cereal)
4. Layer the 4 turkey slices over the cereal
5. Top with the remaining slice of bread
6. Slice in half and atone for your sins

Spoiler: Kirsche tasting the sandwich

 

[Nenélove]

Kirsche's Sinner Sandwich

Ingredients:

• 2 slices firm sandwich bread (brioche)
• 4 slices spicy turky (Black pepper)
• ~2 tbs Strawberry jam
• ~2 tbs Cereal (rice krispie or corn flakes)
• Butter

Method:

1. Butter both slices of bread
2. Spread Strawberry jam on one slice (use extra if needed to get a good layer)
3. Press the cereal into the jam (don't go too light on the cereal)
4. Layer the 4 turkey slices over the cereal
5. Top with the remaining slice of bread
6. Slice in half and atone for your sins

Spoiler: Kirsche tasting the sandwich

Bro it's december...