"FUCK ME!...AS A FRIEND!"Amano Pikamee

The Nolan Crush Memorial Post Dump and Lolcow Thread

niggaphil

Well-known member
Joined:  Oct 23, 2022
Retard is really pulling an :Fauna-AKSHUALLY: because his Dad is supposedly wrong about the reason his useless ass didn't take the dogs outside for 16 hours.

And in his attempt to use his Mom's PC to circumvent his blocked PC access, he somehow fucks up her PC and is concerned about the possibility of doing 5x the amount of work it takes to try and fix it because it might impact him for more than one day.

It never fails to astound me at how useless he is.
:pippabrogoblin:
Someone should inform him 'delete system32' or 'use the magnet to stick on the harddrive would unfuck his mom pc'.

I am betting he will believe these, and we can sit and watch the nice interaction between him and his parents

:whatastory:
 

Aquatic Novellite

Freshwater Shiorin
Early Adopter
Joined:  Oct 10, 2022
Edit: This just in! Nolan Crush has been banned from yet another discord! This time he
>checks notes
got banned from the Dokibird server for posting about the ELIRA PENDORA COMEBACK STREAM.
This is art.
 

Cubanodun

Vtweeter Hunter
Joined:  Jul 22, 2023
This is art.
I went to dumpster dive in the chinese cords he hang out and he CANT UNDERSTAND why the Dragoons dont like Elira, the chineses told him that it was his fault and went *cries a lot*

Btw the main reason he assume he will get ignored is because he is in like 200 servers i checked the CHINESE entire hololive cords and he is in like 80% of them spamming and if you compare his ratio of spam versus the answers he get they are like 1 in 1000000 messages he get some response, we are talking that for example in the Suisei chinese discord his logs go to 200 pages while the answers to him reach at best 4 pages in 8 months
 
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reinigen

Dang it
Ward Security
Joined:  Sep 16, 2022
We're back with another episode of "Nolan overshares on the internet".

Not letting the setback of the HanaMaki server get to him, Nolan has decided to vent on another server willing to hear him out.
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Meanwhile, the rest of the channel looks like this.
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That's right folks, he's back to venting to random Bug-men on the Chinese speakers. Surely these people will understand the trials and tribulations of an autist from Ohio!

I went to dumpster dive in the chinese cords he hang out and he CANT UNDERSTAND why the Dragoons dont like Elira, the chineses told him that it was his fault and went *cries a lot*

Btw the main reason he assume he will get ignored is because he is in like 200 servers i checked the CHINESE entire hololive cords and he is in like 80% of them spamming and if you compare his ratio of spam versus the answers he get they are like 1 in 1000000 messages he get some response, we are talking that for example in the Suisei chinese discord his logs go to 200 pages while the answers to him reach at best 4 pages in 8 months
Exactly as he posts, here's an example of one of the places telling him off - The Kiara-cord. It starts just after Nolan starts whining again. The channel had been him the last few days complaining about his idiotic decisions, and people mildly reacting to him. This now took off after Nolan bitches about the Dokibird ban.
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As you can see, the Chinese KFP give zero fucks even entertaining Nolan and just tell him to eat shit. In fact, let's go check and see how this server reacted to his earlier bitching about his mom's computer.
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Don't worry guys, I'm sure Nolan will take this random Bug-man's advice to heart for once, SURELY!
 

Negzana

Well-known member
Joined:  Apr 15, 2023
I sometimes look at the Nolan thread to see what not to do in life, and realize I'm fine. At the very least I don't eat ice cream with my bare hands.
 

Cubanodun

Vtweeter Hunter
Joined:  Jul 22, 2023
btw Nolan in case you get banned of Chinese KFP you are not in Korone, Okayu or Azki fancords :smugselen:
 

niggaphil

Well-known member
Joined:  Oct 23, 2022
We're back with another episode of "Nolan overshares on the internet".

Not letting the setback of the HanaMaki server get to him, Nolan has decided to vent on another server willing to hear him out.
Screenshot-2024-04-14-205530.png


Meanwhile, the rest of the channel looks like this.
image.png

That's right folks, he's back to venting to random Bug-men on the Chinese speakers. Surely these people will understand the trials and tribulations of an autist from Ohio!


Exactly as he posts, here's an example of one of the places telling him off - The Kiara-cord. It starts just after Nolan starts whining again. The channel had been him the last few days complaining about his idiotic decisions, and people mildly reacting to him. This now took off after Nolan bitches about the Dokibird ban.
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As you can see, the Chinese KFP give zero fucks even entertaining Nolan and just tell him to eat shit. In fact, let's go check and see how this server reacted to his earlier bitching about his mom's computer.
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Don't worry guys, I'm sure Nolan will take this random Bug-man's advice to heart for once, SURELY!

Fuck, i missed all of these while i am playing helldivers 2 in the weekend with my wife. Guess I need to lurk more in Kiara server instead of Gura server. As far as i know, Gura server is not mocking him yet :dokiSmug:
 

GOD'S STRONGEST BUILDERBEAR

"Shut up, Dazzle. I will clip your balls" -SB
Early Adopter
Joined:  Sep 12, 2022
This man is so detached he treats his parents telling him to get a job and stop wasting time on the computer like an internet slapfight he can "win" and totally own his dad, even tho he just told him "son, im going to die and i provide for our family. I literally dont have time to deal with your shit"
 

RestlessRain

Well-known member
Early Adopter
Joined:  Sep 21, 2022

niggaphil

Well-known member
Joined:  Oct 23, 2022
Guess Nolan will get mass banning in chink discord server soon, because these chink mods knew each other pretty well irl as they organise events in Taiwan or China.

We should bet he would migrate to which server soon. I bet it would be Vietnam server :dokiSmug:
 

Nenélove

They expect one of us in the wreckage brother!
Early Adopter
Nene's Pet Latinx
Latinx/Latine
Joined:  Sep 16, 2022
Screenshot-2024-04-14-205530.png


Meanwhile, the rest of the channel looks like this.
image.png

That's right folks, he's back to venting to random Bug-men on the Chinese speakers. Surely these people will understand the trials and tribulations of an autist from Ohio!


Exactly as he posts, here's an example of one of the places telling him off - The Kiara-cord. It starts just after Nolan starts whining again. The channel had been him the last few days complaining about his idiotic decisions, and people mildly reacting to him. This now took off after Nolan bitches about the Dokibird ban.
image.png

image.png

image.png
image.png

image.png

image.png

image.png

image.png
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As you can see, the Chinese KFP give zero fucks even entertaining Nolan and just tell him to eat shit. In fact, let's go check and see how this server reacted to his earlier bitching about his mom's computer.
image.png

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Don't worry guys, I'm sure Nolan will take this random Bug-man's advice to heart for once, SURELY!

I honestly feel pretty bad for the chinks, having to deal with this tard when they are just fellow Holo fans minding their own business.
 

niggaphil

Well-known member
Joined:  Oct 23, 2022
I honestly feel pretty bad for the chinks, having to deal with this tard when they are just fellow Holo fans minding their own business.
Did you replied or quoted the wrong post?
 

Nenélove

They expect one of us in the wreckage brother!
Early Adopter
Nene's Pet Latinx
Latinx/Latine
Joined:  Sep 16, 2022

BlueSharkTV

Fucking Riggers
Early Adopter
Yuria's Husband
Joined:  Sep 10, 2022
can't believe nolan can outchink the chinks :gloomiLaugh: and here I was thinking they were fucking assholes even to their parents, guess God's Strongest Sister Beater will always surprise me with his stupidity.
 

Topo Chico

Well-known member
Joined:  Apr 1, 2023
Transcribing that Vocaroo for those that want to read and not listen. Enjoy.

*sighs* *crying and whimpering* I just... I just I hate my father so much... man
I don't know what else to say other than that, only just that's not it
I did 4 hours of work yesterday and he wants me to do 5 more! Because he blocked the computer at 1:30 *snort sniffle through a huge schnoz* originally I thought I wouldn't be able to do all that in time for the birthday karaoke, but if i had woken up right then i would've; now, that doesn't mean that he doesn't deserve ridicule for this, because at the end of the day working for 5 hours for someone who isn't used to working that long and doing--you know all that stuff---*inhale* And I wasn't just working in one place, like I did at my job. Snort. I was doing uhm outside work, mostly doing inside work: ya know moving stuff, lifting stuff, all of that. And I'm not used to all that, and you know what he says, "Fuck you I don't care."

-------------CRY SNIFFLES ARE OVER (for now)----------------

mmm-hhh-ahh, When I had an argument with him he just refused to accept that he was wrong; he even admitted the more I argue with him the more he was going to not accept he was wrong. That's not a rational person! That's not a logic based person. That's what an egomaniac does. "Oh ya you're proving me wrong and destroying my arguements?! I'm just going to pretend, like, I'm, not being destroyed."
*labored sigh* He... ... He says insane shit, That is clearly just projection! ... Because EARLIER I said that uhm he didn't block the Peee Ceee-uh, so I didn't think I had to do a lot of work. *licks dry ass mouth* Uhm, and also that, and yesterday i said that--I told him--that, I told him why I was able to get on the computer, that there was an obvious password hint and I figured it out. HE interpreted me saying these (either "true" or "two" he's a mush mouth soz) as saying that he was to blame for why I stayed up, that he didn't block the computer--even though the whole point of all of this is that even though... even though the point of a lot of my rant literally that blocking the computer doesn't do dicky. It doesn't FUCKING do anything! And also, I didn't mention staying up at all, but of course he just hassss to strawwwman. *musical inflection* And he hasss to misrepresennnnt. It also seems to show his... extremely egomaniacal idea that "Ya everyone agrees with meeee and how IIIII do things, even though I show no sign of that." He also somehow interpreted me just telling him about the password, and how, thhhe hint being easy to figure out allowed me to get on it--somehow that becomes uhm *dad man voice* "You're blaming me!" Meanwhile he blames other peoiple for his actions literally all the time. So sounds like projection to me. He also claims he's not being vindictive, and then proceeds to admit that he's only doing this because he's affected. Uhm. He uh literally OUTRIGHT admits that he thinks my time is significantly less valuable than his. And that, is because I would be paid less than him, 5 times less than him. And because I have less time, because he has less time to live than I do. So ya' know that means it's less valueable because fuck you I guess. I told him about how mom said that she was sorry that I, that dad, that my dad was doing this. Yesterday. Before I even finished the work for that day. And pointed out that that means the person whose computer was messed with, doesn't even care, nearly as much as that. To which he's like, *gay nerd voice* "Well she's not the one affected, I am!" And even said that even when my brother's computer broke that he wasn't affected only dad was, because he had to fix it. Ya know, before immediately retracting it, because he realized how stupid that was, even he couldn't get away with it.

So, ya know, it's almost like he thinks he's more important than everone else... And him being affected by something, mea- is more important than other people being affected by it. He even had the audacity to say that she wasn't affected by it because she wouldn't have to use the computer until last night, until after he fixed it. By the way, he even had the audacity to say that *villain old man voice* "I ruined his day," because "I had to fix your mom's computer." Even though that is, by every metric, not true. Less than a quarter of his day was spent fixing mom's computer... I know this because it was Saturday and he'd be up at least 16 hours... .... *sigh* ...

I just, *sigh* Could I have prevented having to do all 13 and a half hours before getting it back? Yes, if i had gotten up sooner, I could have done, work, before, the... streams. I shouldn't have to. The fact that he admits he values my time sooo little and that he feels the oooonly victim in this situation, it speaks not just to his egomania, but to borderline narcissism, in this case : ).

Vindictive... Uhm *clicking* according to... according to Dictionary dot com, Vindictive means: disposed or, di-, inclined to revenge; vengeful; Vengeful means: desiring or seeking vengeance; vengeance means: infliction of injury, harm, humiliation, or the like, on a person by another who has been harmed by that person... Violent revenge. I can't think of a better word to describe what's going on. He admitted it. He's not doing this, *villain man voice* "because he care about mom," he's doing this because HE had to spend 3.5 hours, because he THINKS that myyyy getting on discord, a web forum, holodex, youtube, and a translation site, corrupted windows. And it couldn't have possible been the two things mom had (MUSH MOUTH) for several days.

I'm not saying, that it couldn't have been me, I'm not saying I didn't do anything wrong--perhaps I did--and ya, punishment is fine, but it has to fit the crime and not be like, "oh I'm mad so I'm going to... tire you out for several days, put emense amount of pressure on you, RUIN your days, ruin things for you." That's, that's vindictive, by every metric, by every measure, that's vindictive.

I have to do this speech wise because speech to text doesn't work on my phone and if I didn't do this this way I'd have to type it out and that'd take an hour. When I was critisizing him he said *evil voice* "Oh you can leave. You can move out." That's, that's honest to God what he said! When I pointed out that, even mom didn't care; before coming up with all his excuses for why HE'S STILL RIGHT even though the person whose computer it is didn't care. *Schnozz snort again*

*whimpering jewish voice in brooklyn* I just wish I had a normal father. I wish I had a father who gave a shit about how he treated pee pol. Who wasn't such a severe egomaniac that it looked like narcissism. *whimper*

ANNNNNNNNNNNNND END SCENE. He was right, it did take close to an hour to transcribe, apologies for mistakes, he speeds up and slows down randomly and has a serious case of mush mouth.
 
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Cubanodun

Vtweeter Hunter
Joined:  Jul 22, 2023
Guess Nolan will get mass banning in chink discord server soon, because these chink mods knew each other pretty well irl as they organise events in Taiwan or China.

We should bet he would migrate to which server soon. I bet it would be Vietnam server :dokiSmug:
He still has not tried the latam discords
 

PassiveUnaggressive

Well-known member
Early Adopter
Joined:  Sep 9, 2022
Transcribing that Vocaroo for those that want to read and not listen. Enjoy.
I appreciate the well rendered transcription, really brings it to life even in text form
 

niggaphil

Well-known member
Joined:  Oct 23, 2022
He still has not tried the latam discords
I think he is self-aware that the moment he bitched and cried in the latam server, he will get immediate ass-raped by the members like @Nenélove, and permabanned.

Thats why he would try other non-english speaking server like the chink one. :dokiSmug:
 

Topo Chico

Well-known member
Joined:  Apr 1, 2023
I appreciate the well rendered transcription, really brings it to life even in text form
Thanks dawg. I'm glad I did it because it's the only way I'd subject myself to that rant. I want to be able to reference what he said in a quotable format.

The dictionary definition paragraph I think is telling. One, he uses dictionary.com, two, he jumped from one definition to a synonym definition and just expects us to fully accept that a) applies to his father and b) it's a solid definition. Odd shit. He fully relies on appeals to authority for validation of many aspects of his life, particularly when he wants to diagnose someone with a label.

Previously he's linked to Mariam-Webster to epically own some twitter nerd. He has to outsource his thinking to someone else, very sad.


His eldest brother's the one who doesn't live at home ya? He's fuckin' based as shit for tellin' him what we've largely been saying. That nigga needs his phone gone, computer locked, for a while. Also the way he tries to weasel out in that discord message about "should [he]" apologise ot his parents is extremly telling especially after I've listened to that audio, he doesn't see what he did as wrong (even though he feigns he does or could). He puts on a likely fake cry/whimper and is looking for endless asspats. Bring back the irl asylums.
 

Azehara

Well-known member
!!Foot Dox Confirmed!!
Early Adopter
Joined:  Sep 11, 2022
Nolan is going to decapitate his dad and hole the head up inside a plastic bag ike that one guy did on stream
 
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